I really should write about all the new music coming out this week, except that I spent the weekend at a wedding (first Jewish wedding! on a beach no less!) and driving and then spent all day corralling nerdy high school kids (yay model un!) So with about 14 hours of driving under my belt in 48 hours, all my free time was spent watching the bad-ass Star Trek movie.
Plus, none of the music this week is really doing anything for me. Sure, there’s a cover album of Townes Van Zandt, but I never dove into that hornet’s nest (even though it was pushed on me pretty hard a couple years ago). Anything on the edge of country twang has to meet a high standard for me, and so I usually just don’t bother.
But that’s ok. Some weeks are droughts; others are floods. I still haven’t soaked up all of last week’s music, for instance; I stumbled through the new Conor Oberst and St. Vincent, and only really gave a good listen to My Jerusalem (which wasn’t even released last week; I just got tipped off by a friend on Wednesday). A lot of this gig (unpaid and time-sucking and enjoyable as it is) involves sitting on the edge of tomorrow, reading press releases and blog posts and listening to samples of cds coming out a month or two from the time you actually hear of them (I swear I’ve been anticipating the new Jarvis Cocker for at least a few months, if not longer).
So, I guess, it’s informed prophecy, tailored for an audience (of what, 1, 2? 3?) that’s interested in the niche subject matter, or who, more accurately, are friends. But at least I don’t drop any pretense of speaking of anything greater - I don’t have inside sources, I don’t get advance copies, I only know a couple people in bands, and none of them have made it.
Which made it really funny to me to come home from a weekend cavorting on a beach to find a mass mailing emblazoned with capital letters screaming about my prophecy, the most exciting words highlighted. We’ve all seen these letters, I think - the earliest form of telemarketing and hucksterism - so I wasn’t too surprised by it. What did shock me was the contents - my own personal prophecy! Only I couldn’t open it unless I sent back something or other. Money for a flying cross that would provide me with “spiritual, physical and financial blessing,” neatly worded to look like that was a quote from the Book of Matthew. Opening the prophecy, which was on a single sheet of paper sealed with two spots of glue along one edge, without dropping a check in the mail, was tantamount to some kind of dastardly eternal suffering, I’m sure. So I went ahead and pushed my thumb through the adhesive, anxious at the prophecy specifically tailored to me. ”Resident,” according to the envelope.
The prophecy was horoscopian in generalities, of course. It brayed about changing your life and being unhappy otherwise. Of course, few details were explained - something about inner power and the path I’m on. Really, it didn’t sound much different from something you’d find in a New Age missive or a pop psychology self-help book.
I bring this up for a few reasons: first, it’s interesting to me that this is the state of our affairs; that the economic depression has already taken hold tightly enough that there’s a market for this sort of thing. Second, I live in DC, the nexus of evil liberal incarnate. (We gave Obama something like 90% of the vote - everyone but some Heritage interns and a few Republican Hill staffers.) And this is where you send this kind of thing? You don’t want to work the edges first, sending it first to some of the Virginia suburbs where you can hone your message before sending it onto the residents of the Great Satan? Though, I guess, we’re the ones whose souls need saving the most. And finally, why make this so over the top? By appealing to the lowest common denominator, they make their whole message seem chintzy. Do they really need to print the first letter of random books they’re ‘quoting’ (read:misrepresenting, taking out of context, etc.) in red? Does every other sentence need to be bolded? Entire pages in caps? It’s like everyone’s mother from 1997’s forwarded emails, when she didn’t really know anything about netiquette, condensed into religious fervor nuttiness.
Really, you have a rich and verdant faith. You can do better than that.
Oh, and your prophecies? About as enlightening as what I write about. So I guess both are kind of silly and pointless.
I’ve been reading, in spare moments on buses and lines, D.T. Max’s postscript on David Foster Wallace. Wallace, of course, based an entire book (Infinite Jest) on the desperate need for every media element to try to gain some of your attention in a hyperactive world. To be ironic, I got distracted and never finished it. But I think that message applies here, in the blaring headlines-only typeset of the letter I received, trying to compete against the godlessness and sinfulness and rock music.
Which, of course, I’ll write more about tomorrow.