Black Kids: Pitchfork Reviews Itself
For Black Kids‘ new album Partie Traumatic. The album ended up with a whopping 3.3 / 10 rating. Compare that to the 8.4 / 10 rating the band’s debut EP, Wizard of Ahhhs, received last October. In so doing, they helped propel the Black Kids to fame, building the buzz that contributed to their major label record contract and review. In fact, Spinner calls them “blog favorites.” So, in essence, Pitchfork seems to be apologizing for their part in the band’s catapult to fame.
What went wrong? Wizard of Ahhhs, while not perfect, was definitely refreshing in its spontaneity. In fact, the lead single, “I’m not going to teach your boyfriend how to dance with you” was so instantly catchy that one listen was all it needed to get caught inside your head, beating around your ears like a songbird suddenly trapped in a cage. Sure, the rest of the EP didn’t quite live up to that song, but even so, “Dance with you” showed such promise that the other songs seemed like just practice runs.
I’m currently reading Neil Gaiman’s Neverwhere, which my girlfriend stole from my roommate and which I summarily stole from her. In one memorable scene, the Marquis de Carabas happens upon a street performer whose tip jar shows little but its glass bottom. In exchange for a favor, the Marquis plays for him a few bars of an irresistable tune, one which will guarantee him the attention of passersby. But he warns the performer to use the melody sparingly. Of course, he doesn’t listen, and when the Marquis passes again later, people are clawing the performer like animals in an attempt to hear more of the song.
Black Kids had that kind of a tune in “Dance with you,” and Pitchfork, the much-aligned but still trendsetting mob leader, attacked them with effusive praise in order to hear more. But often those kinds of tunes are just mere luck, a flash of genius in the dull light of mediocrity (see the plethora of one hit wonders in pop music). And, to their credit, Pitchfork called it right on Partie Traumatic: it’s simply garbage. Even the exciting edge of “Dance with you” has been rounded over by the cheap gloss of the record’s overproduction, and other songs, and cuts like “I Wanna be your Limousine” are simply unlistenable Banarama-era New Wave garbage (and I like synths!).
But some are upset by Pitchfork’s review nonetheless, claiming that, as arbitrers of the band’s original fortune, they owe more (or, at least, shouldn’t be lazy). While it is a bit remininiscent of a non-closure breakup, I think their review is just fine simply because it is as much a dig at themselves as at the band. It is (in part) Pitchfork’s fault that the band received so much attention, and Pitchfork’s fault that they wouldn’t shut up about the band. It’s a result of the search for the next big thing, for the sacred musical bliss that will stoke the endorphin coals again and again. Hype is fun for us, but nothing but pressure for the musicians. Some can take it smoothly in stride, but others are too young, too inexperienced, or simply too mundane. But in the end, it’s just empty excitement, with little to back it but noise. Like Pitchfork’s review.
Black Kids may have a bright future, and from the reviews of the more mainstream press (77 on Metacritic), they’ll do fine with this album. And maybe then they’ll get a chance to look back and learn from their mistakes, figuring out for themselves what they did wrong and come roaring back in an album or two. But it will be time spent out of the spotlight, where they can fumble around for their own answers.
So the review can be seen as much as an apology to the Black Kids as it is to the blogmedia and the indie kids. Unfortunately, it won’t change anything: a week, or a month from now they’ll latch on to some other band that’s shown a glimmer of promise, and start promoting them relentlessly with hyperbolic claims of greatness. Ah well.
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